life plans

The Whole World

My dad used to knock on my door in the mornings and say, “It’s a jungle out there. The whole world’s ahead of you.” There’s a double entendre in that. The whole world is full of opportunity. The jungle part made it pretty clear though that he meant everyone else is winning the race while I’m still in bed. No wonder I have anxiety issues. Yesterday morning I was invited to go to a yoga class at the Japanese Friendship gardens in Balboa Park. This is how I started my day—balancing on one leg in tree pose while koi floated underneath me. When on my back in bridge pose, I could see the giant goldfish float by in my peripheral vision. While in supine twist, I watched watched the glittering of the reflected light on the ceiling. In shavasana, I listened to the waterfall.


While in shavasana, I plan my day….

Okay, I’ll be honest, while in shavasana, I planned out my day like I always do. Shavasana is where I get some of my best thinking done. There is no time for relaxing and reflecting. I did all those things above, and appreciated the beauty, but I also start thinking about that whole world that is ahead of me while I’m lying prone and I can’t help but make preparations.

One of the many things I planned was to go to this yoga class every Monday through May before I leave for my summer in New York. I also planned to write a short, maybe 100-200 word, blog post every week. Just a few thoughts. I used to do a blog on The Better Half of My Life. Then the better half caught up with me and I couldn’t stay the course. I’ll write some more of that, but some more about pies, and some more about writing, and some more about my anxiety and maybe even some pieces about my dog.

Today, what I’m thinking about: the book project I’m collaborating on and how it seems it will never be finished, my mom’s death, my Nancy Drew novel, and another proposal I need to write. All anxiety inducing. All part of the jungle that I will never be able to slash my way through without it growing up again faster than I can whack through.

The Whole World’s Ahead of Me!